Friday, June 17, 2005

Again

There are heavy clouds in my head. Too much, too much... I can't see. And the last traces of direction are lost. I can't see anymore. And it looked so clear and easy that day. That day when the world was shining all so clear and beautiful. The memory gives out a sparcle in my heart. But a sparcle is a dangerous thing with all that clouds.

Lost...

I can feel the rain. It's coming. And it's not alone - he brought his friends. The thunderstorm is at hand. I know that all I need to do is nod... and the world will shake. It will be drowned in rain, swept by winds and... yes...
The spears of fate will be there once again. Cutting the sky in pieces and scattering it all over me. I'll be basking in the electric lights, my shirt once again blown past me by the furious winds of my own wrath towards ... towards the pain. The pain that is all in my head because I can't make the world the place I want it to be. For me... And I'll drown it in the tears I didn't cry and I'll smack it down with all the fury of the blows I didn't srtike, I'll sweep it with the shouts I didn't let out of my mount... This DAMN world!!!

my world, though...

And yes, the spears of fate will fly once more. And I know where they will strike... yes...





And after that the clouds will go away. The world will seem new and fresh and clean again. The sun will shine over the golden shores I'll walk then. Yes, I'll walk... And talk and smile and laugh and everything will be fine again. I'll be fine and... a bit more dead than before. Again.

But the spears of fate will still be buzzing in my heart giving me the desperate strength and joy of the forsaken one. And I'll be as strong as ever. You'll see.

I can hear the first drops softly caressing the sands.

Can you?

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